The First of My Goodbyes

started this evening.

For the last four years I have tutored this woman from Nigeria in Reading and Math. She speaks English, but also a language native to her country and she speaks quickly without enunciating all of the same consonants that Americans use; so I am forced to listen very carefully. At first I understood that her family could not afford to educate the girls, only the boys got to go to school. Then I understood that she did attend some school, but her family could not afford supplies, so she basically sat and could only grasp a small portion of what was presented.

She is married and has three children, the eldest whom just started college at the University of Iowa. She attends our local adult education classes every morning and also works at Walmart.

I admire her so much. She is always positive and never for one minute does she feel sorry for herself and her circumstances.

As a parent she is strong and supportive. Her main goal is to encourage her children to study and become better educated than herself. One year her middle daughter was having some difficulties in Junior High and she went to the teacher conference with her daughter in tow and instructed her daughter, in front of the teachers, that she would do whatever was necessary to get her daughter to turn things around. She would come to school with her. She did not want her to end up in the streets. She did not want her to end up uneducated.

It worked. Her daughter is doing very well in high school.

She is so tenacious. And has such strength and faith in people.

My life is certainly richer for having known her.

So tonight she brought her children with her to a buffet restaurant. Her children are so polite and kind and appreciative of everything. They hardly know me, but expressed their sadness at my leaving. I was touched.

When we were finished with our meal they wanted to extend our stay and continue to talk. It was as if they did not want the night to end.

It is difficult to explain the genuine gratitude they proffered. I am certain I would not have had the same conversations or attitude from an American family.

I will miss all that this woman exudes. I am in awe of all she has undergone to get here and all that she endures to stay.

She truly represents all that is good in people.

And it was most fitting that she was the first of my goodbyes.