Twenty School Days to GO!

And to commemorate this grand milestone I am going to be posting twenty jobs I feel I will be qualified for upon retirement from teaching.

For many years in teaching I thought I could only do ONE thing, teach. Now I realize I have so many skills to list on a resume, in fact they may be too numerous, occupying too many pages, as future employers prefer only one page resumes.

Job Application #20 - Comedy Sketch Writer


I do have the writing skills and the observation of people behavior skills to write skits.


This is a sample I could submit to SNL -


Scene - table in center of room, children sitting around table with teacher, appears as if group is having a reading lesson on the book, Marvin Redpost is Kidnapped


Teacher: Now let's review this chapter. Marvin thinks he is the missing Prince Robert and when asked how this happened he says he was kidnapped at birth. Do you think 


(interruption by student)


George (student): Phil was kidnapped at birth.


Phil (student sitting right across from George) (loud booming voice) I WAS NOT! I WAS BORN!


George: (repeating in same monotone) No, you were kidnapped.


Phil (with more agitation) I WAS BORN, I WAS BORN, I WAS BORN.


Teacher, trying to stop the bantering while keeping a straight face: Phil, I think George is just making a joke.


George: That's right I'm making a joke.


Phil: Well, I was born I don't know anything about being kidnapped.


Group then moves on to more discussion of the chapter and in the middle of a student comment, George interrupts again -


George: Phil, were you born?


Phil:I know I wasn't kidnapped.


Camera fade.


I may not have the format correct, but how easy was that? I just did that in about five minutes. I guess it would be a little more if you consider the twenty minutes I had to endure it today, BUT I have skills!!!!!