Parenting

While I would like to think that I am a great parent, I need to be realistic that I made several mistakes. On the flip side, I hope that I learned from them and that my kids were paying attention and learned from them also as they now parent.

You know, sort of passing the torch in good way.

I also would like to think that my kids enjoy having me around. And probably they do, but for a short time, not ALL the time. Or for specific activities, not every day.

Somehow as parents we get the notion that the life we lived with our children when they were underfoot is the same life we can continue when they are grown and on their own. Surely they won't mind if we stay for a week or two or more.

Having kids live quite a distance away is an adjustment, for us all. And it requires some spoken and unspoken rules because now it not only involves the child you raised, but his or her spouse and possibly the child they are raising.

These thoughts run through my head every time I go visit my children. I don't want to create a situation where they don't want me around and are to afraid to tell me the truth. I try to be very mindful of their life, their house rules and how I can meld without creating havoc.

It is hard to be invisible and yet be part of their life.

I must say, so far, my kids and their spouses have been great about everything. Let's hope I don't blow my current standing.

Which brings me to this blog I found a few years ago and as I'm cleaning through my bookmarks it resurfaced.

It's good. Lots of friendly reminders about minding our Ps and Qs as we visit or relate to our children, because they are no longer children. They are well-functioning denizens of the world with their own rights and privileges.

When I taught I was constantly saying, "Keep your hands and feet and words to yourself." Or something like that. It's a good reminder for me also.

Here's the blog.