Writing Class Submission

Don’t You Wonder

Don't you wonder what would have happened if your mom had married her other high school boyfriend? You know, the one that turned out to be the dad of your best friend. And then when you found out, the two of you wondered what it would be like to be sisters. It was so fun for a while to imagine the two households combined and then you matched up your dad with her mom and that created a big laugh. But in the end you were glad she had her parents and you had yours.

Don't you wonder what would have happened if you had gone to the other college; the one in a different state, a larger city, with a different major. Where would that have taken you? Even though you didn’t ruminate on this missed opportunity, doesn’t it still appear every once in a while as the illusive question mark in your mind?

Don't you wonder what would have happened if you had said no on that snowy day in April? Would you have reconnected with your future husband on a different day, a different time? What made you stop at his table? What created the impulse to say yes when you had said no so many times before? When you look at your children don't you wonder how it all could have turned out so differently? And aren’t you glad it didn’t?

Don’t you wonder about all the times you said yes, when no was just as easy an option? Or when you could have turned right as well as left. And then there were the times you contemplated and made the lists and the pros and the cons and in the end you listened to what your gut was saying all along.

And then there were those sleepless nights, the storms raging in your head, pushing the clouds of thought all around and you awoke, hoping for clarity. Sometimes it was there, but often not and you struggled once more with which path to choose. And it is in these depths of contemplation that what we are really seeking is our intention, yet why is it so hard to find?

Do we listen to that inner voice, the one that doesn’t always sit on our shoulder but instead often swims in our midsection and frequently makes a beeline for our head. This struggle between our body talking and our head thinking creates such havoc and often leads us astray from the life we anticipate we will lead.

And so it continues. We work to fine tune our awareness, noting the signs and making a choice. Sometimes we are successful and other times not. But constant is the acknowledgement that we were given the power. So in the end we have created our path with our range of options and in reflection we may consider what we selected and why and gain some insight for the next go round. However, every once in a while we may pause and ask, don't you wonder?