Whose Life is it Anyway?

Where is the line? Where do you draw it to stop? Recently I said goodbye to my dad and that hurt so much. He sobbed. I sobbed. Where is the line where my life takes precedence over his?

In the 1960s my aunt, his sister, moved to Colorado. We visited several times and I was in awe of her life. She invited me to spend my summers in college working there and living with her. I was so excited.

My parents said no.

My cousin got to go.

When I graduated from college I wanted to work in any city, far away, but I had this boyfriend, who turned out to be my husband, and he was working in Iowa.

I stayed.

Then I had children and I didn’t want to uproot them and then I had IPERS and why would I give up a good pension.

I stayed.

And now we are unencumbered and I can go. I am free.

But not really. My dad is still alive and I feel guilt. Even though he is in Assisted Living and LOVES the place and they take such good care of him.

But I feel responsible.

However I have reasoned that I must now take charge of my own life. I want to be nearer to my children and grandchildren. They give me such joy. And I want a chance to explore new areas with my mind and my body. I want to live a life I always dreamed was possible.

So I am embarking on the journey to take my last few years and have them be MINE.

So think of me today. On the road to my next chapter.

 My last passage.

 My final freedom.

May we all live the life we were born to have.